Thin Places Page 7

  to you

  would ultimately

  bring you here

  and our bond

  would give me back the strength

  I needed

  and therefore the ability

  to return

  to my true home.

  What I Know

  Stop talking

  I said.

  Just stop the story.

  Sorry

  I meant to give you

  a little at a time.

  I held her at arm’s length now

  one hand on each shoulder.

  All I know

  all I care about

  is that I have found you

  and we are together.

  She smiled then

  the smile I had seen in my visions of her

  the girl who was the voice in my head.

  The girl who had visited me

  on the other side of the ocean

  was now real flesh and blood

  here and now.

  Can you love me

  the way you loved Liam?

  Yes.

  What if we rebuild a house

  right here?

  That would be wonderful.

  Words

  Even as I heard myself speak the words

  I began to believe I had slipped over into

  some new kind of fantasy world.

  None of this could be real.

  The voice in my head perhaps

  was the first sign of delusional behaviour

  and now I’d taken it too far.

  Let’s walk

  I said.

  You need to tell me what

  you’ve been doing

  for the last three hundred years.

  She explained that she had to keep moving

  from town to town

  so people did not notice that she did not age.

  Friends I made

  for short spells

  but no lovers.

  People stopped believing in witches

  and that helped.

  But I could not bear

  to watch people get sick

  get old

  die.

  Do you mean that you can live

  forever?

  No.

  We all have a limited life force.

  I think it was the way she said those words

  like a line from one of those science fiction movies

  I used to like.

  It became convincingly clear

  that Rebecca was a product of my imagination

  my dementia

  or whatever had happened to me.

  She stopped and looked at me.

  There was something else in her look now.

  Something that scared me.

  In her

  I now saw

  anger.

  You don’t believe me

  she said.

  You don’t believe I am real.

  And then she suddenly began

  walking away from me.

  She looked around on the sand as she walked.

  I ran to catch up

  just as she found

  a shard of glass

  the neck of a broken bottle.

  I did not move quickly enough

  to stop her from jabbing it into her arm

  wounding herself.

  I grabbed the piece of glass and threw it into the sea

  and pressed my hand against her wound.

  As I held my hand there

  I couldn’t believe that I had just doubted her.

  I’m real

  dammit.

  This is real.

  As I pressed harder on the wound

  the blood continued to spill and drip on the white sand.

  I’m sorry

  I said

  and walked her to the shoreline

  where I cupped salt water to pour on her arm.

  It stopped bleeding quickly.

  The wound was not deep

  but something about pouring sea water on it

  made her react.

  Her eyes grew suddenly wide.

  Please don’t leave me

  she said.

  I won’t leave you

  I said.

  Ever.

  Uncle Seamus

  I told her about my uncle and that he would be

  worried about me.

  Could she go with me to meet him?

  She shook her head no.

  Please

  I begged.

  It’s important.

  Okay.

  But I can’t stay away

  from here for long.

  I need to be here.

  I didn’t ask any further questions.

  I walked in alone at first.

  Seamus was blustering and angry

  wanting to know where I’d been

  since the day before

  what I’d been up to with his car.

  Fell asleep at the beach

  I said

  I’m sorry.

  But I met a girl.

  A girl?

  he asked.

  The girl.

  Holy Mother of God

  Seamus said.

  Would you like to meet her?

  Seamus didn’t say a word.

  He blinked and just stared at me.

  I took that as a yes.

  Introductions

  Rebecca looked shy and tired

  as she entered the house.

  Seamus tried to say something

  butinstead

  he just stared at her.

  I fumbled my way through introductions

  but I don’t think he was listening.

  I know you

  Uncle Seamus suddenly said.

  I know you from somewhere.

  I don’t think so

  Rebecca said

  sounding sheepish and a bit fearful.

  Seamus looked more closely at her.

  Oh

  maybe not

  he said.

  I’m getting old

  and memory does funny things.

  Then he took a deep breath

  offered us some tea and we all sat down

  in a pool of sunlight

  at the kitchen table.

  Rebecca now looked drained of energy.

  Seamus, his back to us

  babbled a bit of his usual blarney

  about nothing in particular.

  I was growing worried about Rebecca.

  I needed to take her back to Streedagh.

  Sorry, Uncle Seamus

  I think we need to leave

  I blurted.

  That’s when he dropped the china teapot

  and it shattered on the stone floor.

  Holy Mother of God

  Seamus said again.

  I do know you.

  But that can’t be right.

  No, maybe it was your mother.

  His eyes were wider now

  his arms flapping.

  Or your grandmother perhaps.

  You are the spitting image

  of a girl I met

  way back when.

  Rebecca looked deep into his eyes

  and a soft sad smile came over her face.

  Of course, it can’t be you

  Seamus now said softly

  but I’ll never forget her

  whoever she was.

  Seamus Speaks

 
Declan, remember I told you about Katherine

  the love of my life?

  After she had left me

  after she was dead

  I was devastated.

  I didn’t want to live

  not without her.

  So I hitchhiked north

  to Mullaghmore and walked out to the point.

  The waves were more fierce than I’d ever seen

  and it was an ugly

  ugly day

  a day fit for what I wanted to do.

  I knew the currents there were deadly

  and death was what I truly wanted.

  I filled my coat pockets with heavy stones

  and walked out on that ledge of those flat black rocks.

  I would have ended my life then

  happy to be rid of my pain

  and what I saw to be a lonely miserable life ahead.

  But then a girl came along

  one who looked just like

  like you, Rebecca.

  She consoled me

  and talked to me

  and somehow eased the pain.

  It was not a cure

  but whatever she said

  was enough to make me

  toss those stones into the sea.

  And she walked me back into town

  and found me a ride home.

  I never saw her again

  until now.

  Time to Leave

  Well

  Seamus said finally

  you look so much like her

  or at least the way I remember her.

  Again, I’m an old man

  with funny thoughts

  so forgive me.

  And he bent over to collect the broken pieces

  of the shattered teapot

  and dropped them

  into the garbage can.

  Return to Streedagh

  Uncle Seamus became distracted and self-absorbed after that.

  And I said we had to leave.

  I said he shouldn’t worry about me

  as he waved a hand in the air

  and nodded that it would be okay.

  He just wanted to be left alone

  with his thoughts

  for a while.

  Rebecca seemed tired as we drove back to Streedagh

  drifting off

  but then coming back awake as we neared the shore.

  That was you at Mullaghmore

  I said.

  Yes, I remember him.

  There were so many people

  I met over the years

  so much pain in their lives

  and I would try to help when I could.

  But all I could do

  was try.

  A Fire of Peat

  We drove over the little bridge

  at Streedagh

  and out onto the field with horses and sheep.

  Here she pointed to a small cottage

  among a cluster of other cottages.

  That’s where I live

  she said.

  Inside it felt cold and damp

  and she made a fire of kindling and peat

  in the stone fireplace.

  I looked at her arm

  and the wound appeared to be healing already.

  It’s not deep

  she said.

  And then I kissed her

  and held her

  and said

  I want to be with you

  and stay

  right here.

  I don’t want this to ever end.

  Never-Ending

  We ate bread and cheese

  and carrots she said she had grown herself

  and drank from a bottle of wine.

  And the word “love” was spoken

  so many times

  that it took on many meanings at once.

  Do you remember when

  I first made contact with you?

  she asked.

  Yes.

  Do you remember when you

  could see me for the first time?

  I nodded.

  It took a very long time to find you

  and to build the bridge

  but I needed you.

  And now that you are here

  I am sad

  because I feel that I’ve used you

  tricked you.

  It’s not like that

  I said.

  I came here

  to be with you.

  It was my decision.

  It’s you who is making me strong enough

  to be able to go back.

  I’ve been ashore here for far too long.

  It’s not the way things are meant to be.

  But it’s this connection to you

  this love we feel for each other

  that will make me strong enough

  to go back to the sea.

  And leave me?

  Yes.

  No!

  Rebecca leaving me was the last thing

  I wanted.

  And now I had discovered

  I was the one who would

  send her back.

  No

  I said again, this time more softly.

  Please.

  Sad Days in Heaven

  The next morning

  we spoke no more

  of the previous night’s conversation.

  Instead

  we began to live

  really live

  as lovers

  as husband and wife

  as if

  we were not

  from different worlds.

  As if

  our life together

  our time

  was infinite.

  No talk of selkies.

  No talk of either of us

  going back.

  She knew my thoughts

  but I could never fully know hers.

  InsteadI read

  her eyes

  her touch.

  I believed I could read

  her heart.

  Time

  There are no clocks or watches or calendars for such days.

  No mechanical calculation for such time

  such living.

  And as long

  as I did not question

  or plan for the future

  or doubt who we were

  it went on and on.

  Drink of Darkness

  And then one day

  after a month had passed

  (but that is just a guess)

  I saw something in her eyes.

  She grew sad without apparent reason

  and I held her

  hoping to never let her go.

  And after a while

  after I felt our hearts beating

  blending into a synchronized rhythm

  she pulled away

  and went to the cupboard

  drew out a small glass jar of a dark fluid.

  If you drink some of this

  she said

  it will help you understand.

  What is it?

  It’s made from plants found near the shore.

  It’s a bit strong but necessary

  now that we are here.

  Here?

  This place where we have arrived.

  I didn’t know what she meant but decided not to ask.

  I looked at the dark liquid.

  So maybe you are a witch after all

  I said.

 
No.

  Selkies are never witches.

  Trust me.

  And of course I trusted her

  as she poured a small amount of the liquid

  onto my tongue

  and I fell into a deep sleep.

  Unfolding Story

  I was drifting downward

  into some dark chasm

  but then

  the darkness gave way to vision

  and the story began to unfold:

  I saw the fisherman first

  the lonely fisherman.

  And then his son.

  I saw something in the sea

  a sleek beautiful seal

  moving toward the shore.

  I noticed the eyes

  deep and dark.

  And then everything changed.

  I was not looking at the scene

  from the shore.

  I was looking

  at the shore.

  I felt the pity

  the deep compassion

  she felt

  for Liam.

  It felt like I was drowning

  at first.

  But then everything changed

  and I began to sense

  the transformation

  beginning.

  It was a powerful

  overwhelming

  experience

  unlike anything

  I had ever known.

  It was fueled by love

  by need

  and by

  a deep inner force

  that cannot

  be put into words.

  The Arrival

  And then something changed again.

  I was the observer again

  watching as

  Rebecca

  swam ashore

  and stood up

  naked on the shoreline.

  But I was not just an observer.

  I was Liam

  watching this unfold.

  I felt his pain

  his loneliness

  transform

  into impossible joy.

  History

  After that

  there was another shift.

  I was not seeing through Liam’s eyes

  but through my own.

  I watched as

  he took her hand

  and walked with her

  into his stone house

  and time began to move forward.

  I could see that Liam

  was kind to her

  and loved her

  and she loved him back

  and they were happy

  sharing a simple life

  by the sea.

  And the story

  much like the most vivid movie